The Living a Wealthy Life Programme is not about looking for a cure for our lack of abundance or lack of happiness or lack of wealth! Why should we look for a cure? There's nothing wrong to start with!
I know you may not believe this all the time, but even if you don't, think of it as a very empowering place to stand. I prefer to think of what we're doing as being like developing new mental and emotional muscles, that can allow us greater flexibility in our ability to create our lives. We are putting ourselves in a place where we can receive the wellbeing of the universe, by simply allowing it to flow, because that is what it is meant to do. We are opening ourselves to the dynamic essence of creative possibility, creative potential.
A cure, on the other hand, does not necessarily open up a world of potential. It aspires to fix a problem. Whenever we try to fix something, we strangle the dynamic life out of it, often creating another problem requiring another cure. It can feel like an endless (and often futile) sturggle. Cancer is a great example. We are conditioned to believe we must strive for a cure, rather than learn to appreciate the body's own self-healing capability. We try to fix the problem, label the cancer as 'something wrong' and try to eradicate it, over-riding the body's own innate ability to heal itself, rather than allowing and facilitating that healing. What if cancer is simply the body's own healing response to an imbalance of energy? This is a controversial view of course, but one that makes perfect sense within the parameters of our own inquiry into the law of attraction. This is a huge issue of course, and I am no health expert - and I certainly do not wish to undermine the value of the healing professional, whether allopathic or homoepathic. I think the quality of the intent alone (of health practitioner and patient) can often be enough to stimulate the healing process, regardless of the method employed.
So if you're unhappy, there's nothing wrong, if you're in debt, there's nothing wrong, if you're unwell, there's nothing wrong, if you're lonely or feel alone, there's nothing wrong. Please don't misunderstand me here. This is not a statement of fact, simply an invitation to shift your awareness into an alternative paradigm of abundance where the moral judgments of good and bad, right and wrong, do not apply. In this alternative paradigm, you have the freedom to create new possibilities that are not attached to should, or must, have to. There are no cures in this paradigm because there is nothing to cure. As you practice living from this place, then the things that are 'out of balance' in the original paradigm can be healed and transformed, apparently by magic.
There are three weeks of the programme but this does not mean, as one participant put it this week that we 'have 3 weeks to claim victory'. If you're holding on this idea, then please let go of it. It is not helpful. You have unlimited time. Authentic transformation does not happen 'over time' - it can only really happen in a moment of inspiration and that moment is always open to you and it can happen at any time. And the more those moments happen, the more the authentic you begins to stabilise and the more able you become to experience more of those moments. That's all.
So we are not curing anything and we are not seeking victories - this is the thinking of the old paradigm that created the confusion as to the nature of reality in the first place! This programme is not designed to 'solve problems' or 'defeat the saboteur' or anything like that. It is designed to stretch your mind beyond the self-limiting beliefs and assumptions that you have come to define your life by. it is designed to enrich your imagination such that you can create new worlds of possibility into which new situations and new opportunities can manifest. This is where your magical power lies.
Love John x
The daily thoughts of John Wadsworth, founder of Kairos Education and creator of the Living a Wealthy Life coaching course. This is a twelve week journey in developing and practicing the art of wealth consciousness, with twelve willing participants committed to transforming their ability to attract wealth into their lives.
Friday, 23 February 2007
Friday, 16 February 2007
My Big Picture Vision
This week is all about the big picture, so I thought I'd take the opportunity here to share my own big picture for my company Kairos Education and in particular, the Living a Wealthy Life programme.
Well, the more I hold the vision for this project, the more it seems to expand and grow and the challenge for me, actually, has been just to relax into that vision and allow it to unfold in my imagination without having to implement it all immediately! That requires quite a lot of self-discipline for an impulsive Aries like myself!
So let me share the different strands that are opening up. ..
The first thing that I have already shared on an email this week is that 'Living a Wealthy Life' is about to become a radio series. This manifestation came about through an extraordinary piece of synchronicity (what else should we expect?) and a very strong intuitive connection with Suzanne Corbie, who is responsible for the radio station (MySpiritRadio) that convinced me that it was absolutely the right way to go. Basically, the show will serve as a vehicle to deliver insights and guidance each month into the themes that we currently cover on the course each week. So month one, for example, we are looking at the theme of 'living authentically' and confronting the question of 'who am I'? This will be done by me putting forward my understanding of this and then through interviews with inspirational people who will give their take on the subject - so in week one, for example, I'm interviewing Neil Crofts, a friend of mine from Bradford-on-Avon who has written several books on authenticity and is also an advocate of law of attraction. For week two, the theme is attracting wealth and I'm interviewing Bob Doyle from the Secret, who is responsible for the 'wealth beyond reason' programme. My aim is to interview some of the participants of this course, interspersed with the big law of attraction teachers.
These shows will potentially be heard by 10,000 plus listeners a month around the world. That is the current number of people who tune into the station every month and that number is growing all the time. The shows also get passed on to local FM stations as well from time to time. This offers an amazing vehicle for publicity and it is my intention that we will all benefit from it.
The next phase of growth for the project is to create Living a Wealthy Life as an evening course. Plans for the first one in Bristol are already well under way and it's going to be held at The Hub in Bristol, which is also the new base for Kairos Education. I now rent office space there part-time. It's a very dynamic environment in which to work and a magnet for ethical, sustainable, values-centred business enterprises. There are also plans afoot to run an evening course in Brighton. These courses will be for three hours a week and I will be using all kinds of creative media to facilitate the process. I'm very excited about this.
The next big part of the picture, which is developing in parallel to the evening course, is the creation of a set of 12 audio CD's, one for each week which will act as a support to the participants as they go through the courses (both the 1-2-1 telephone course and the evening course). These CD's will be accompanied by a book / manual and this package will also stand alone and be capable of delivering the course in its entirety independent of direct participation on one of the Living a Wealthy Programmes. Each CD will have me talking on it, presenting the questions for self-reflection and also offering guiding meditations and visualisations that a participant can follow each day of the course. The CD's will literally take you by the hand every day and lead you gently and supportively through the whole creative manifestation process.
So that takes us so far. Wanna go a bit bigger? Well, here's the big picture that I see it and this is what I'm holding the vision for....
A Centre for Creative Manifestation. Basically we attract a beautiful property that will become the home to this work and other work compatible with it. We will run courses, where the Living a Wealthy Life programme will be delivered as as intensive over 12 days. And we'll attract health practioners, artists, musicians, yoga therapists, martial arts instructors, elders of indigenous societies, inspirational teachers and practitioners from all over to come and offer their wisdom and introduce / re-introduce participants to the real magic of life. I'm saying we here because I also holding a vision that each of the participants who been through the first stage of this journey with me will stay on board for the ride and be a part of creating something extraordinary that will be like a magnet for enchantment, magic and miracles.
Phew! I'm sure there's more, but I think that will do for now. Your feedback is most welcome.
Love John x
Well, the more I hold the vision for this project, the more it seems to expand and grow and the challenge for me, actually, has been just to relax into that vision and allow it to unfold in my imagination without having to implement it all immediately! That requires quite a lot of self-discipline for an impulsive Aries like myself!
So let me share the different strands that are opening up. ..
The first thing that I have already shared on an email this week is that 'Living a Wealthy Life' is about to become a radio series. This manifestation came about through an extraordinary piece of synchronicity (what else should we expect?) and a very strong intuitive connection with Suzanne Corbie, who is responsible for the radio station (MySpiritRadio) that convinced me that it was absolutely the right way to go. Basically, the show will serve as a vehicle to deliver insights and guidance each month into the themes that we currently cover on the course each week. So month one, for example, we are looking at the theme of 'living authentically' and confronting the question of 'who am I'? This will be done by me putting forward my understanding of this and then through interviews with inspirational people who will give their take on the subject - so in week one, for example, I'm interviewing Neil Crofts, a friend of mine from Bradford-on-Avon who has written several books on authenticity and is also an advocate of law of attraction. For week two, the theme is attracting wealth and I'm interviewing Bob Doyle from the Secret, who is responsible for the 'wealth beyond reason' programme. My aim is to interview some of the participants of this course, interspersed with the big law of attraction teachers.
These shows will potentially be heard by 10,000 plus listeners a month around the world. That is the current number of people who tune into the station every month and that number is growing all the time. The shows also get passed on to local FM stations as well from time to time. This offers an amazing vehicle for publicity and it is my intention that we will all benefit from it.
The next phase of growth for the project is to create Living a Wealthy Life as an evening course. Plans for the first one in Bristol are already well under way and it's going to be held at The Hub in Bristol, which is also the new base for Kairos Education. I now rent office space there part-time. It's a very dynamic environment in which to work and a magnet for ethical, sustainable, values-centred business enterprises. There are also plans afoot to run an evening course in Brighton. These courses will be for three hours a week and I will be using all kinds of creative media to facilitate the process. I'm very excited about this.
The next big part of the picture, which is developing in parallel to the evening course, is the creation of a set of 12 audio CD's, one for each week which will act as a support to the participants as they go through the courses (both the 1-2-1 telephone course and the evening course). These CD's will be accompanied by a book / manual and this package will also stand alone and be capable of delivering the course in its entirety independent of direct participation on one of the Living a Wealthy Programmes. Each CD will have me talking on it, presenting the questions for self-reflection and also offering guiding meditations and visualisations that a participant can follow each day of the course. The CD's will literally take you by the hand every day and lead you gently and supportively through the whole creative manifestation process.
So that takes us so far. Wanna go a bit bigger? Well, here's the big picture that I see it and this is what I'm holding the vision for....
A Centre for Creative Manifestation. Basically we attract a beautiful property that will become the home to this work and other work compatible with it. We will run courses, where the Living a Wealthy Life programme will be delivered as as intensive over 12 days. And we'll attract health practioners, artists, musicians, yoga therapists, martial arts instructors, elders of indigenous societies, inspirational teachers and practitioners from all over to come and offer their wisdom and introduce / re-introduce participants to the real magic of life. I'm saying we here because I also holding a vision that each of the participants who been through the first stage of this journey with me will stay on board for the ride and be a part of creating something extraordinary that will be like a magnet for enchantment, magic and miracles.
Phew! I'm sure there's more, but I think that will do for now. Your feedback is most welcome.
Love John x
Tuesday, 13 February 2007
We are Extraordinary Creators
I post this blog just as we move from the shadowy realm of week eight into the bright new future of week nine. And as we do I'm just bringing myself present to the magnitude of what we are doing here. Let's face it, 'Living a Wealthy Life' is no ordinary course, it is a course in miracles. We are positioning ourselves in relation to the world from the perspective that we create our own reality. If we create our own reality, and if we have the power to manifest in our lives whatever we think and feel about, then we are confronting the realisation that we are responsible for everything that happens to us.
Now, there is usually a difficult thing to hear. The most common reaction to this idea is - well, that means I'm to blame for everything! This is conventionally much harder to accept than - well, that is someone else's fault. Well, if you have it that responsiblity equals culpability, then sure, this is a natural reaction. No wonder we human beings want to give responsibility away whenever possible. But let's look at this word 'responsibility'. If we are committed to the idea that there is something inherently wrong with the world then no wonder we conflate these two notions. However, if we are truly taking on the philosophy of abundance, the philosophy that there is more than enough, the idea that wealth and well-being is the source of life, then, despite whatever evidence may appear to exist to the contrary, there is, from that perspective, nothing wrong with the world in any absolute sense. After all, the evidence we are gathering that there is something wrong is really just an interpretation of reality. If you can cultivate coming from a place that there is nothing wrong, then there is nothing to be culpable of, nothing to be to blame for. The problem is that we live in a culture of blame, a culture of lack, a culture of 'something wrong'.
Now we are not talking about burying our heads in the sand here. We can all agree that there are a lot of things in the world that we would like to be different. But until we can step outside of ingrained cultural assumptions based in lack, blame, sin, and wrong-ness, we have no power to make a difference in that world.
That is why what are doing here is so extraordinary. It loosens us from those cultural assumptions, it allows us to step outside of erroneous beliefs about the nature of reality, beliefs that are undermined by millennia of spiritual teachings; teaching that and are now being confirmed leading edge scientists.
One of the questions in week 9 is 'What is God'? Is God really this authoritarian disciplinarian waiting to judge us for our 'sins'? None of us probably believe that really, and yet we live our lives as if that is the case, projecting that archetypal figure onto parents, teachers, bosses, politicians, governments, societies etc, etc. I prefer to think of God a force of loving coherence of which we all partake. I know deep within myself as an unshakeable truth that we all have creative God-force within us. Only thing is, very few of us choose to recognise it consistently, even less to apply it.
We are all extraordinary creators. We all have the responsibility for our own creations. I like to hyphonate the word responsibility, and think of it as Response-Ability - literally, the ability to respond. To be responsible is to have the creative freedom to respond to any situation from a place of real choice. And this is what we are about here. We are doing nothing less than taking on the responsibility for our lives - the comfortable (or not-so-comfortable) familiarity of being a victim of circumstance really ceases to be an option once we really take on the immensity of our own creative power.
So please don't underestimate for one moment the power of what we are doing here. We are going beyond our stories, beyond our limitations, and creating together the possibility of living extra-ordinary lives.
Love John x
Now, there is usually a difficult thing to hear. The most common reaction to this idea is - well, that means I'm to blame for everything! This is conventionally much harder to accept than - well, that is someone else's fault. Well, if you have it that responsiblity equals culpability, then sure, this is a natural reaction. No wonder we human beings want to give responsibility away whenever possible. But let's look at this word 'responsibility'. If we are committed to the idea that there is something inherently wrong with the world then no wonder we conflate these two notions. However, if we are truly taking on the philosophy of abundance, the philosophy that there is more than enough, the idea that wealth and well-being is the source of life, then, despite whatever evidence may appear to exist to the contrary, there is, from that perspective, nothing wrong with the world in any absolute sense. After all, the evidence we are gathering that there is something wrong is really just an interpretation of reality. If you can cultivate coming from a place that there is nothing wrong, then there is nothing to be culpable of, nothing to be to blame for. The problem is that we live in a culture of blame, a culture of lack, a culture of 'something wrong'.
Now we are not talking about burying our heads in the sand here. We can all agree that there are a lot of things in the world that we would like to be different. But until we can step outside of ingrained cultural assumptions based in lack, blame, sin, and wrong-ness, we have no power to make a difference in that world.
That is why what are doing here is so extraordinary. It loosens us from those cultural assumptions, it allows us to step outside of erroneous beliefs about the nature of reality, beliefs that are undermined by millennia of spiritual teachings; teaching that and are now being confirmed leading edge scientists.
One of the questions in week 9 is 'What is God'? Is God really this authoritarian disciplinarian waiting to judge us for our 'sins'? None of us probably believe that really, and yet we live our lives as if that is the case, projecting that archetypal figure onto parents, teachers, bosses, politicians, governments, societies etc, etc. I prefer to think of God a force of loving coherence of which we all partake. I know deep within myself as an unshakeable truth that we all have creative God-force within us. Only thing is, very few of us choose to recognise it consistently, even less to apply it.
We are all extraordinary creators. We all have the responsibility for our own creations. I like to hyphonate the word responsibility, and think of it as Response-Ability - literally, the ability to respond. To be responsible is to have the creative freedom to respond to any situation from a place of real choice. And this is what we are about here. We are doing nothing less than taking on the responsibility for our lives - the comfortable (or not-so-comfortable) familiarity of being a victim of circumstance really ceases to be an option once we really take on the immensity of our own creative power.
So please don't underestimate for one moment the power of what we are doing here. We are going beyond our stories, beyond our limitations, and creating together the possibility of living extra-ordinary lives.
Love John x
Friday, 9 February 2007
Debt & Commitment
This is really a corollary to my previous post, 'The Shadow of Money'.
In Peter Koenig's book, '30 Lies About Money' lie no.3 is 'Debt is Bad'. How many of us who are in debt or who have been in debt have judged ourselves harshly for being in that situation? Equally, how many of us have sought to avoid such self-judgment by making the whole economic system wrong and laying the blame at money's door - 'root of all evil' etc, etc.
As I've shared in my own story, I have made the economic system wrong, made myself weak, powerless and brought upon myself situations in my life that have been humiliating to reinforce that. While I had the confidence to borrow freely and go into debt, I did not take on the responsibility of being in debt. I did not really take on the full implications that a debt is a commitment. Or at least, if I did, then I was manifesting my terrible fear of commitment, that being committed might take away my freedom. (I now realise, in a much more embodied way, that commitment is freedom!)
In the LETS (Local Exchange Trading Scheme) system, which uses local, non monetary currency as a medium of exchange, the concept of 'debt' is reframed as 'commitment'. Basically if you have extracted more benefit from other people's services than you have offered, then you are in a relationship not of debt, but of commitment.
Whereas in LETS systems, this commitment tends to be honoured as such, with money it often does not. Perhaps this is because the participants recognise the value of the exchange and the value of the people offering the services, whereas money has become something onto which we individually and collectively project our shadow. So we either demonise it, worship it, disrespect it, over-respect it and so on.
But I like this idea of debt being aligned to commitment. Certainly in my own case, when I went bankrupt, I was not committed to the debt that I had and thus at some fundamental level I was not committed to my own empowerment. Basically, when I discovered the bankruptcy option I saw a way out - I saw away of avoiding facing my shadow. Actually it was a way of me avoiding stepping into my power. I didn't respect money and I didn't trust myself to be in relationship with it. Actually in a material sense, I felt worthless, impotent, incapable. I wanted to deny the energy that I had generated by going into debt - I suppressed that energy when I could have drawn from it. I'm not making myself wrong here, because I've definitely got the lesson. And the way I have responded to the debt I accumulated for my MA course is testimony to that.
Perhaps we can begin to relate to debt as an energetic charge that commits us in relationship to the world around us. That might be a good way for us to move beyond this idea that debt is bad or wrong.
I welcome your thoughts on this...
love John x
In Peter Koenig's book, '30 Lies About Money' lie no.3 is 'Debt is Bad'. How many of us who are in debt or who have been in debt have judged ourselves harshly for being in that situation? Equally, how many of us have sought to avoid such self-judgment by making the whole economic system wrong and laying the blame at money's door - 'root of all evil' etc, etc.
As I've shared in my own story, I have made the economic system wrong, made myself weak, powerless and brought upon myself situations in my life that have been humiliating to reinforce that. While I had the confidence to borrow freely and go into debt, I did not take on the responsibility of being in debt. I did not really take on the full implications that a debt is a commitment. Or at least, if I did, then I was manifesting my terrible fear of commitment, that being committed might take away my freedom. (I now realise, in a much more embodied way, that commitment is freedom!)
In the LETS (Local Exchange Trading Scheme) system, which uses local, non monetary currency as a medium of exchange, the concept of 'debt' is reframed as 'commitment'. Basically if you have extracted more benefit from other people's services than you have offered, then you are in a relationship not of debt, but of commitment.
Whereas in LETS systems, this commitment tends to be honoured as such, with money it often does not. Perhaps this is because the participants recognise the value of the exchange and the value of the people offering the services, whereas money has become something onto which we individually and collectively project our shadow. So we either demonise it, worship it, disrespect it, over-respect it and so on.
But I like this idea of debt being aligned to commitment. Certainly in my own case, when I went bankrupt, I was not committed to the debt that I had and thus at some fundamental level I was not committed to my own empowerment. Basically, when I discovered the bankruptcy option I saw a way out - I saw away of avoiding facing my shadow. Actually it was a way of me avoiding stepping into my power. I didn't respect money and I didn't trust myself to be in relationship with it. Actually in a material sense, I felt worthless, impotent, incapable. I wanted to deny the energy that I had generated by going into debt - I suppressed that energy when I could have drawn from it. I'm not making myself wrong here, because I've definitely got the lesson. And the way I have responded to the debt I accumulated for my MA course is testimony to that.
Perhaps we can begin to relate to debt as an energetic charge that commits us in relationship to the world around us. That might be a good way for us to move beyond this idea that debt is bad or wrong.
I welcome your thoughts on this...
love John x
Thursday, 8 February 2007
The Shadow of Money
OK, time for some shadow revelations from the coach. I'm probably taking a bit of a risk here in exposing this, but the fact that I feel I can is reflective of the sense of trust that I feel with this group. I really honour each of you for that.
This evening's conference call has stimulated me to do this. The main focus of our conversation turned out to be around money and, in particular, debt, which we might in some sense think of as the shadow of money.
Well, debt is something I have plenty of experience of myself and something I have not always been very responsible about and this I want to share with you.
In January 2001, I declared myself bankrupt. Having run up £20,000 of debt after a couple of failed businesses, one or two ill-advised investments, living in a nice rented flat in Brighton but with no assets and virtually nothing coming in, I decided to throw in the towel. Off I went down the rather peculiar route of bankruptcy, where your debts are simply wiped off in exchange for a few punitive measures, such as not being able to have a bank account. I remember it being an incredible relief after months of sleepless nights worrying about the situation. The whole thing seemed so easy. I'd only recently met Colette whose unbelievable trust in me didn't deter from entering into a committed relationship with someone who was such a financial disaster area. Her trust extended in fact so far that she allowed me to become a signatory on her account which was registered in the business name that I was using at the time, Lighthouse Astrology. So, actually I just carried on as normal, as if nothing had happened.
Was there a pattern here for me? Oh yes. My historical pattern is to get bailed out by women, whenever I got in a financial mess, which was more or less all the time. I was a spiritual being. I'll inspire you, I'll write poetry for you, I'll enchant you with my words and my ideas. I'll seduce you with my myths and stories and carry you away on some otherworldly adventure. But don't ask me to be responsible around money. I don't understand it and it doesn't understand me! That was the story. Bailed out by my Mum originally, then by people dying in our extended family - that paid off my outrageous overdraft twice - both the people who died were women. Then the benefit system looked after me for a while, along with most of the women I'd been out with. Law of Attraction was working perfectly. The cardboard sign round my neck read: Esoteric Wisdom for Sale. Poor spiritual being can't take care of himself.
The story moves on. Two and half years after my bankruptcy, I decide I want to do an MA at Bath Spa University in Cultural Astronomy & Astrology, to study the culture, philosophy and psychology of beliefs about the sky. A course with less obvious vocational potential one could hardly imagine, yet my conviction that I was going to do this unique, incredible course was 100% resolute. I saw myself there and nothing was going to stop me. Undeterred by my relatively recent financial history, I approached the HSBC for a £14,000 loan. Bear in mind, I'm only six months out of my bankruptcy period. I walk in to the bank, brimming with confidence that they are going to give me the money I need. As far as I'm concerned the money is already secured. The woman makes encouraging noises, and then announces that the bank will need to do a five year check back over my credit history. My confidence dipped to say the least, yet I knew I was going to get this money. 'Fine, no problem'. I said. I'll send you whatever you need tomorrow, thinking that maybe some miracle would happen between now and then. That afternoon, I went to see a dear and trusted friend for a 'spirit release' session. I came out of that in an incredible space and my absolute confidence of where my life was going next was completely restored. We were leaving Brighton - we were off to Bath and nothing was going to stop it. 5 minutes later the phone rang. It was the woman from the bank. 'We've approved the loan', she said, 'no need to send us anything'. Well...
The story moves on. Three years later, having sponged off the loan and, at times, Colette's good will, I've had an incredible journey of knowledge and wonderful revelation, mental stretch, personal development, personal transformation, an MA distinction and phd in the pipeline, oh, and a £14,000 debt. Mmmm...
Between the time of my bankruptcy and the end of my masters, I had become very close friends, with a debt expert who knows the debt system inside out from by a debt collector, and a person who gets written off.
So we're now in 2006 - the week before I watched the Secret - I rang Michael (my debt magician) and asked him to look at my debts to see if he could write them off for me. He looked at them and said no problem - we can get those written off, and what's more he could preserve my credit rating and I wouldn't have to go bankrupt!! All my Christmases had come at once. What a relief! - £14,000 debt just wiped off like that with apparently no repercussions! No more £350 a month in debt repayments! With Colette egging me on (sorry to drag her in but she was!), I was all set to do it and began to put the wheels in motion. An action replay of my bankruptcy seven years ago except without the stigma. A perfect solution, it seemed.
Mid-September, I did a warrior training for men called the 'New Warrior Training Adventure' through an organisation called the ManKind Project, a relatively expensive training for which I predictably applied for and received a bursary. Over that incredible weekend, I confronted my shadow. I confronted the little boy in me who didn't want to grow up, didn't want to take repsonsibility, felt weak, impotent, unable to make an impression in the world. I drew upon a deep desire within me that had laid dormant for years. I came away from that weekend a different person, an initiated man. Everything changed. I took up the mantle of responsibility. I could no longer hide in the shadows and pretend that the world owed me a living.
Two weeks later I watched The Secret. Next day I began designing this course. Day after that, I rang Michael and told him I wasn't going to go ahead with the debt clearance. I was going to keep the debt and pay it off. Even though I didn't know how I was going to do it, I made that commitment. Colette said I was crazy (sorry darling!). But the truth is I haven't looked back since. A week later I paid back the bursary I'd received for the MKP weekend, even though at the time I did it, I couldn't see where the money was coming. Within half an hour, a client rang me out of the blue and ordered £300 worth of coaching with me. And this is the sort of thing that's been happening ever since. You could say it's in my stars if you want and I'm sure any good astrologer could find lots of evidence there that it is. But as an astrologer myself, I know that with Pluto crossing my mid-heaven this could equally have been a potentially destructive period. It's clear. You make your stars what they are through the way you engage with them. Pluto is about power and if I'd stayed weak and needy through this period and succombed to old patterns I would have mde myself a victim of circumstance and probably got hammered for it. As it was, I've turned it around. I've claimed my power and I'm claiming it more every day.
The debt repayments have actually gone up by 25 quid a month because of increased interest rates, but hey ho! I'm not concerned about it and I'm not attached to the outcome. I'm just not worried about it anymore. I'm focussing on prosperity and the more I do the more it comes. Colette and I have not had an argument about money in 4 months. Before we watched The Secret, we couldn't go four days without having a big row about it.
The shift?
1. I released the idea that my debt was something bad and made me a bad person.
2. I got that owning the debt by committing to its repayment was an honouring of my shadow. My shadow is to not take responsibility. My shadow is to assume that somebody else will deal my financial situation, and get me off the hook, because I'm not capable of doing so! I'm sooooo spiritual, sooooo not of this world. I can't be held to account if I can't handle nasty old money! Well, I know that's b****cks and I know that keeps me small, powerless, weak.
Taking responsibility for the debt has empowered me and I am paying it off joyfully (really) every month in the absolute knowing I am a conduit for abundance.
and the new reality is: I'm actually in a stronger financial position than I'm ever been in my life. My income has more or less doubled every month for the past six months. By May I expect it to be trebling. My income next year will so far outweigh anything I've earned in previous years that the taxman is bound to come knocking and see what the heck is going on. I'm declaring my income joyfully, I'm paying my tax joyfully. More than that, I'm actually taking care of somebody else, living in a flat that costs £850 a month to rent on more or less on my income alone. My financial turnaround has given Colette the opportunity to start again in a new city, invest in some publicity, without the worry of having to make money immediately. This is unprecedented in my life, to be able to support another person. And it feels almost effortless.
So there's my shadow - there are other aspects of course, but the lack of financial responsibility has been one of the biggest. And it's all been about playing small and pretending I can't meet the world in an earthy material way. It is clear to me that nothing could actually be further from the truth. As well as being capable of inspiring others with what I think and say, I know myself also now as being reliable, dependable, financially responsible, grounded in my being and confident of who I am - on planet, here, now, ready for action.
So who am I? Well, it's difficult to say. but I know I'm not simply the product of my past. That's just a trail I've left behind me. I know myself to a powerful energy generator, capable of manifesting anything I want for my life and making a big difference in the world by spreading the infectious enthusiasm that I have for life everywhere I go - living joyfully, freely, authentically in abundance.
That's my story. I hope it inspires you.
love John x
This evening's conference call has stimulated me to do this. The main focus of our conversation turned out to be around money and, in particular, debt, which we might in some sense think of as the shadow of money.
Well, debt is something I have plenty of experience of myself and something I have not always been very responsible about and this I want to share with you.
In January 2001, I declared myself bankrupt. Having run up £20,000 of debt after a couple of failed businesses, one or two ill-advised investments, living in a nice rented flat in Brighton but with no assets and virtually nothing coming in, I decided to throw in the towel. Off I went down the rather peculiar route of bankruptcy, where your debts are simply wiped off in exchange for a few punitive measures, such as not being able to have a bank account. I remember it being an incredible relief after months of sleepless nights worrying about the situation. The whole thing seemed so easy. I'd only recently met Colette whose unbelievable trust in me didn't deter from entering into a committed relationship with someone who was such a financial disaster area. Her trust extended in fact so far that she allowed me to become a signatory on her account which was registered in the business name that I was using at the time, Lighthouse Astrology. So, actually I just carried on as normal, as if nothing had happened.
Was there a pattern here for me? Oh yes. My historical pattern is to get bailed out by women, whenever I got in a financial mess, which was more or less all the time. I was a spiritual being. I'll inspire you, I'll write poetry for you, I'll enchant you with my words and my ideas. I'll seduce you with my myths and stories and carry you away on some otherworldly adventure. But don't ask me to be responsible around money. I don't understand it and it doesn't understand me! That was the story. Bailed out by my Mum originally, then by people dying in our extended family - that paid off my outrageous overdraft twice - both the people who died were women. Then the benefit system looked after me for a while, along with most of the women I'd been out with. Law of Attraction was working perfectly. The cardboard sign round my neck read: Esoteric Wisdom for Sale. Poor spiritual being can't take care of himself.
The story moves on. Two and half years after my bankruptcy, I decide I want to do an MA at Bath Spa University in Cultural Astronomy & Astrology, to study the culture, philosophy and psychology of beliefs about the sky. A course with less obvious vocational potential one could hardly imagine, yet my conviction that I was going to do this unique, incredible course was 100% resolute. I saw myself there and nothing was going to stop me. Undeterred by my relatively recent financial history, I approached the HSBC for a £14,000 loan. Bear in mind, I'm only six months out of my bankruptcy period. I walk in to the bank, brimming with confidence that they are going to give me the money I need. As far as I'm concerned the money is already secured. The woman makes encouraging noises, and then announces that the bank will need to do a five year check back over my credit history. My confidence dipped to say the least, yet I knew I was going to get this money. 'Fine, no problem'. I said. I'll send you whatever you need tomorrow, thinking that maybe some miracle would happen between now and then. That afternoon, I went to see a dear and trusted friend for a 'spirit release' session. I came out of that in an incredible space and my absolute confidence of where my life was going next was completely restored. We were leaving Brighton - we were off to Bath and nothing was going to stop it. 5 minutes later the phone rang. It was the woman from the bank. 'We've approved the loan', she said, 'no need to send us anything'. Well...
The story moves on. Three years later, having sponged off the loan and, at times, Colette's good will, I've had an incredible journey of knowledge and wonderful revelation, mental stretch, personal development, personal transformation, an MA distinction and phd in the pipeline, oh, and a £14,000 debt. Mmmm...
Between the time of my bankruptcy and the end of my masters, I had become very close friends, with a debt expert who knows the debt system inside out from by a debt collector, and a person who gets written off.
So we're now in 2006 - the week before I watched the Secret - I rang Michael (my debt magician) and asked him to look at my debts to see if he could write them off for me. He looked at them and said no problem - we can get those written off, and what's more he could preserve my credit rating and I wouldn't have to go bankrupt!! All my Christmases had come at once. What a relief! - £14,000 debt just wiped off like that with apparently no repercussions! No more £350 a month in debt repayments! With Colette egging me on (sorry to drag her in but she was!), I was all set to do it and began to put the wheels in motion. An action replay of my bankruptcy seven years ago except without the stigma. A perfect solution, it seemed.
Mid-September, I did a warrior training for men called the 'New Warrior Training Adventure' through an organisation called the ManKind Project, a relatively expensive training for which I predictably applied for and received a bursary. Over that incredible weekend, I confronted my shadow. I confronted the little boy in me who didn't want to grow up, didn't want to take repsonsibility, felt weak, impotent, unable to make an impression in the world. I drew upon a deep desire within me that had laid dormant for years. I came away from that weekend a different person, an initiated man. Everything changed. I took up the mantle of responsibility. I could no longer hide in the shadows and pretend that the world owed me a living.
Two weeks later I watched The Secret. Next day I began designing this course. Day after that, I rang Michael and told him I wasn't going to go ahead with the debt clearance. I was going to keep the debt and pay it off. Even though I didn't know how I was going to do it, I made that commitment. Colette said I was crazy (sorry darling!). But the truth is I haven't looked back since. A week later I paid back the bursary I'd received for the MKP weekend, even though at the time I did it, I couldn't see where the money was coming. Within half an hour, a client rang me out of the blue and ordered £300 worth of coaching with me. And this is the sort of thing that's been happening ever since. You could say it's in my stars if you want and I'm sure any good astrologer could find lots of evidence there that it is. But as an astrologer myself, I know that with Pluto crossing my mid-heaven this could equally have been a potentially destructive period. It's clear. You make your stars what they are through the way you engage with them. Pluto is about power and if I'd stayed weak and needy through this period and succombed to old patterns I would have mde myself a victim of circumstance and probably got hammered for it. As it was, I've turned it around. I've claimed my power and I'm claiming it more every day.
The debt repayments have actually gone up by 25 quid a month because of increased interest rates, but hey ho! I'm not concerned about it and I'm not attached to the outcome. I'm just not worried about it anymore. I'm focussing on prosperity and the more I do the more it comes. Colette and I have not had an argument about money in 4 months. Before we watched The Secret, we couldn't go four days without having a big row about it.
The shift?
1. I released the idea that my debt was something bad and made me a bad person.
2. I got that owning the debt by committing to its repayment was an honouring of my shadow. My shadow is to not take responsibility. My shadow is to assume that somebody else will deal my financial situation, and get me off the hook, because I'm not capable of doing so! I'm sooooo spiritual, sooooo not of this world. I can't be held to account if I can't handle nasty old money! Well, I know that's b****cks and I know that keeps me small, powerless, weak.
Taking responsibility for the debt has empowered me and I am paying it off joyfully (really) every month in the absolute knowing I am a conduit for abundance.
and the new reality is: I'm actually in a stronger financial position than I'm ever been in my life. My income has more or less doubled every month for the past six months. By May I expect it to be trebling. My income next year will so far outweigh anything I've earned in previous years that the taxman is bound to come knocking and see what the heck is going on. I'm declaring my income joyfully, I'm paying my tax joyfully. More than that, I'm actually taking care of somebody else, living in a flat that costs £850 a month to rent on more or less on my income alone. My financial turnaround has given Colette the opportunity to start again in a new city, invest in some publicity, without the worry of having to make money immediately. This is unprecedented in my life, to be able to support another person. And it feels almost effortless.
So there's my shadow - there are other aspects of course, but the lack of financial responsibility has been one of the biggest. And it's all been about playing small and pretending I can't meet the world in an earthy material way. It is clear to me that nothing could actually be further from the truth. As well as being capable of inspiring others with what I think and say, I know myself also now as being reliable, dependable, financially responsible, grounded in my being and confident of who I am - on planet, here, now, ready for action.
So who am I? Well, it's difficult to say. but I know I'm not simply the product of my past. That's just a trail I've left behind me. I know myself to a powerful energy generator, capable of manifesting anything I want for my life and making a big difference in the world by spreading the infectious enthusiasm that I have for life everywhere I go - living joyfully, freely, authentically in abundance.
That's my story. I hope it inspires you.
love John x
Tuesday, 6 February 2007
Welcome to the Dark Side
So this week we are entering week eight, the week where we allow the shadows to reveal themselves. This is the week that carries the astrological energy of Scorpio, where the planets Mars and Pluto team up, Mars driving the soul into Pluto's underworld, where it may be purged, healed and transformed. Pluto, through the sign Scorpio and the astrological eighth house, searches out our dark heart, and makes us confront all the stuff that we have denied, suppressed, pretended wasn't there. In confronting those shadows, we come to realise that the very forces of fear, separatism, protectionism and so on, are actually guarding a great secret, perhaps the great secret, itself, the power of our desire!!
We are moving from week seven which was about the beauty and appreciation of love, relationship and being connected. We were concerned with how we make ourselves attractive by holding a vibration of love, beauty, harmony and agreement. We explored the transaction of love and appreciation. This week we explore the dark underbelly of our transactions that stirs, often unacknowledged, through primal desires that we may have lost touch with. Desire, particularly sexual desire, is hugely complex phenomena around which we experienced many mixed messages. Many of us were brought up believing that we shouldn’t have or express desire, that it is dangerous, immoral or under the auspices of the devil, and that we should therefore suppress it. There are many cultural taboos around desire that are so often cast into shadow, denied or suppressed and coveted through secrecy, or projected onto others as resentment, jealously, envy, and so on.
If you think about the nature of a shadow it will become clear that its strength is directly correspondent to the strength of the light that is cast - the stronger the light, the stronger the shadow. The shadow creates a mirror-like reflection as its light is cast upon physical matter. This week we will confront our apparently unacceptable feelings, the ones that we judge inappropriate, and in bringing them into the light of day, consider how our awareness of it, might actually reveal the golden light that those shadows may actually be mirroring for us.
Welcome to the Dark Side!!
love John xx
We are moving from week seven which was about the beauty and appreciation of love, relationship and being connected. We were concerned with how we make ourselves attractive by holding a vibration of love, beauty, harmony and agreement. We explored the transaction of love and appreciation. This week we explore the dark underbelly of our transactions that stirs, often unacknowledged, through primal desires that we may have lost touch with. Desire, particularly sexual desire, is hugely complex phenomena around which we experienced many mixed messages. Many of us were brought up believing that we shouldn’t have or express desire, that it is dangerous, immoral or under the auspices of the devil, and that we should therefore suppress it. There are many cultural taboos around desire that are so often cast into shadow, denied or suppressed and coveted through secrecy, or projected onto others as resentment, jealously, envy, and so on.
If you think about the nature of a shadow it will become clear that its strength is directly correspondent to the strength of the light that is cast - the stronger the light, the stronger the shadow. The shadow creates a mirror-like reflection as its light is cast upon physical matter. This week we will confront our apparently unacceptable feelings, the ones that we judge inappropriate, and in bringing them into the light of day, consider how our awareness of it, might actually reveal the golden light that those shadows may actually be mirroring for us.
Welcome to the Dark Side!!
love John xx
Saturday, 3 February 2007
Share Your Love
So we're in week seven and this really is the feel good week! This is where we really get to share our joy, share love, share our gratitude and share our truth that those closest to us.
It's all about raising your vibration and there's no better way of doing that than by allowing others to raise theirs. It's a total win-win canoodle!
I shared on the conference calls this week my experience of sharing my love and appreciation with my late father in an intensely powerful piece of shadow-work psychodrama. I shared with him all the things that I had been somehow unable (though desparately wanting) to share with him before he died. In the safe container of the shadow work day, I was able to access that part of me that deeply loved and respected my Dad and I was able to express in an incredible powerful way. The energy that was left in the room I can only describe as being as close to an experience of pure love as I have ever known. It was palpable and everyone in the room was deeply moved by it. I had no idea in advance of this happening that my Dad would feature at all in my piece of 'shadow work' and this seemed to make it all the more potent. It was an absolute gift and the outpouring of love and appreciation that flowed has released a long-held wound that I have been carrying all my life and it was directly linked to my relationship with my father, whose own wound I seemed to have absorbed and taken on. In giving up this wound in that profound, symbolic space I feel have claimed a stronger sense of leadership, a deeper sense of inner peace and a more readily accessible connection to my joy.
If you have someone in your life that you need to share your love with, then please share it with them. Let it pour out of you, how much they mean to you, how much their presence in the world enhances your life, how valuable they are and how loved. I know it's not very English (supposedly), but why not just let your love and appreciation overflow, let it gush out of you. Feel the joy, share your love, share your golden gift.
love John xx
It's all about raising your vibration and there's no better way of doing that than by allowing others to raise theirs. It's a total win-win canoodle!
I shared on the conference calls this week my experience of sharing my love and appreciation with my late father in an intensely powerful piece of shadow-work psychodrama. I shared with him all the things that I had been somehow unable (though desparately wanting) to share with him before he died. In the safe container of the shadow work day, I was able to access that part of me that deeply loved and respected my Dad and I was able to express in an incredible powerful way. The energy that was left in the room I can only describe as being as close to an experience of pure love as I have ever known. It was palpable and everyone in the room was deeply moved by it. I had no idea in advance of this happening that my Dad would feature at all in my piece of 'shadow work' and this seemed to make it all the more potent. It was an absolute gift and the outpouring of love and appreciation that flowed has released a long-held wound that I have been carrying all my life and it was directly linked to my relationship with my father, whose own wound I seemed to have absorbed and taken on. In giving up this wound in that profound, symbolic space I feel have claimed a stronger sense of leadership, a deeper sense of inner peace and a more readily accessible connection to my joy.
If you have someone in your life that you need to share your love with, then please share it with them. Let it pour out of you, how much they mean to you, how much their presence in the world enhances your life, how valuable they are and how loved. I know it's not very English (supposedly), but why not just let your love and appreciation overflow, let it gush out of you. Feel the joy, share your love, share your golden gift.
love John xx